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Age Gap Love Story

Relationship Support, Information, & Community

Finance

Recovery From Divorce & Tips for Second Marriages

February 5, 2021 by Carrie Leave a Comment

man and woman signing divorce papers

It can be challenging both emotionally and financially to recover from divorce. This article includes tips for getting back on your feet again, plus ways to prepare yourself for a successful second marriage.

Whether you’re in an age gap relationship or you’re thinking about one, then this information is for you. Please see the links at the end of this post for both the podcast and YouTube video related to this article.

Recovering From Divorce

Here are some practical and mental health tips for recovering from divorce. After you’ve finalized the paperwork, there are some things you will need to do to recover. 

  1. Take time to heal and work on yourself. 
  2. Consider therapy to figure out your issues, especially if you have a contentious divorce.
  3. Evaluate your finances and do any planning for your retirement and future.
  4. Explore your own interests.
  5. Make new friends who didn’t know your first partner or re-connect with old friends. 
  6. Consider exploring new romantic relationships. Be cautious about committing too soon. 
  7. Re-establish and confirm relationships with children, family, or friends who may have been involved in the old marriage.

Tips for a Successful Second Marriage 

  1. Try not to bring any emotional baggage into the second marriage from the first marriage. Do the emotional work of figuring out what you need and how you can recover from any hurts from the past.
  2. Consider starting fresh with your belongings. 
  3. Be very cautious about finances. Deal with it before making a marital commitment. 
  4. Be very careful if you are going to be blending families. Consider family therapy and take things slowly. Plan for and avoid potential family conflicts.
  5. Work on something or grow something new with your new spouse. Especially if you don’t have children together, it’s nice to have something to build together.
  6. Focus on good communication, patience, forgiveness, and respect for each other, even if and when you run into difficulties. Don’t give up. 
  7. Address problems as soon as they occur and make sure to try and work through them, even if you require counseling. 

Listen to the podcast episode for this topic below, or check out the YouTube episode.

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Stitcher

As always, we want to remind you that we are not offering professional advice. The content on this website is meant as purely informational. Please consult a therapist, attorney, financial advisor, or other appropriate professional to help with your individual situation.

Age Gap Love Story is a website, podcast, YouTube channel, and community created to support people who are in a relationship with a large age difference. Join our email list to learn more!

Filed Under: Family Issues, Finance

Long-Term Financial Planning for Age Gap Relationships

September 4, 2020 by Carrie Leave a Comment

This blog post goes deeper into the financial issues of long-term relationships, including marriage, when you have a large age difference with your partner.  

carrie and alan smiling and holding a piece of paper and a pen

Please note we are not offering financial or legal advice, so please consult your financial advisor or an attorney for specific advice related to your situation. Also laws vary by country and state you need to do your own research.

Financial Issues to Consider

  • Sharing expenses when living together (please see the previous blog post regarding division of expenses).
  • For long term relationships, or married couples, a plan for what happens if you break up, including how to resolve legal and financial obligations is vital.
  • Consider life insurance to provide the financially dependent partner with a safety net in case of a sudden change in the relationship, such as death. This can defer changing a will or trust. Usually, the most cost effective type of life insurance is “term” insurance.
  • For the financially dependent partner, you need to protect yourself in case of an unforeseen event (death or a break up) Also, you should start your own savings account, pay off your debts, establish health insurance, etc.
  • The financially stronger of the couple should prepare an instruction letter to the dependent partner as to how to carry on and resolve financial issues in case of a sudden death. This is especially important if the dependent partner is the younger of the two. This letter should contain a list of all bank & brokerage accounts, all other assets, any loan information, contact info for the family attorney, location of a will, trust document, living will for end of life healthcare wishes, family members to contact, burial information, access codes to all computer files / accounts and anything else the survivor should know to move on in life.

Reasons to Consider Marriage

  • Commitment (both emotionally, legally, and more).
  • Women need to be very careful if having children without being married as they may not have rights as to spousal support (alimony), child support, health insurance and retirement benefits of the insured partner.
  • If fact, even the right to visit a critically ill person in a hospital may be limited to a spouse of close family member.
  • If acceptance by family, friends and the public is important to you, marriage demonstrates that you are a legitimate, committed couple.

Reasons to Not Get Married

  • If you are both independently wealthy and don’t want to have issues with separating estates.
  • If you both have children and want to keep assets separate.
  • If you aren’t sure it’s going to work out.

Issues Related to Marriage

From Investopedia (link below)

  • Couples who plan to marry should discuss finances, children, assets, housing, retirement, insurance, and more before their wedding.
  • When combining finances, it’s best to be open about everything from your degree of indebtedness to investment strategies and retirement plans.
  • Be sure to update your tax information, determine your filing status, and update your name and benefit status with the Social Security Administration (SSA).
  • Complete estate planning to see that your families’ financial needs are met after you die, and update beneficiary information for wills, life insurance policies, and the like.
  • Consider creating a prenuptial agreement to ensure that your financial assets are protected in the event of a divorce and to clarify property division when one of you dies.

Reference: https://www.investopedia.com/articles/pf/09/what-to-consider-before-marrying.asp

Podcast & YouTube Links

We hope you consider listening to the full episode in podcast form, or watching it on YouTube.

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Stitcher

Age Gap Love Story is a website, podcast, YouTube channel, and community created to support people who are in a relationship with a large age difference. Join our email list to learn more!

Filed Under: Finance, Podcast Episode

Basic Financial Considerations for Age Gap Dating and Relationships

August 24, 2020 by Carrie 2 Comments

spreadsheets and cash on a table with a calculator

Basic financial planning is important for all couples and is often more complicated for age gap couples planning marriage and also for those who are not married. As you may know, finances are one of the top reasons leading to relation disagreements and a break-up.

Age Gap Financial Considerations

Specifically, in age gap relationships, there may be greater room for financial problems in that:
• large income disparities as the younger person may still be in school or may be at the beginning of their career,
• the older person may be living off retirement, may have expenses related to a previous marriage such as spousal support (alimony) or may be supporting children or elderly parents.

Since this is a big topic, we’ve broken it into two blog posts for age gap couples.

This blog post is for a dating couple who perhaps is in a long-term relationship, but is not married. The next blog post is for those planning to marry or already married. Both sections should be helpful and we hope you find it useful.

Basics topics can include: budgeting, earnings, debt management, judgements (leans or commitments including alimony and child support) savings, expenses, and insurance. All of these should be addressed especially when living together.

Budgeting for income & expenses

  • Determine the division of expenses to decide who is going to pay for what including how is the rent or mortgage going to be paid.
  • Plan to spend within your means and avoid debt, especially high interest cost credit card debt (spending less than what you earn is best).
  • Set up a simple budget spreadsheet (many are available for free on the internet).
  • Track your expenses versus you budgeted amount and adjust your spending or your amount budgeted and be realistic.

50/30/20 rule for budgeting

Another budgeting technique is the 50/30/20 rule. It involves dividing your monthly income into three ”buckets”:
• 50% (or less) goes to necessities such as housing, student loans and utilities. These are expenses you have to pay every month.
• 30% (or less) goes to nice-to-haves, such as entertainment, hobbies and travel.
• 20% (or more, if possible) goes toward savings and paying down debt.

Savings

  1. Retirement should be a MAJOR goal in your financial plan. Make an effort to save 15% to 20% of your income for retirement.
  2. An emergency fund that can cover 3-9 months of your living expenses is also vital. What if you lose your job or need a car repair or an unexpected housing expense?

Insurance

The three most basic insurance types are:
• Health insurance, hopefully available thru you employer. If not, check to see what coverage is available through a Government sponsored plan at low cost.
• Life insurance if your committed partner (spouse?) or any dependent children are in your life.
• Long-term health insurance, if available at a cost you can afford.

Resources

  • How much should I save each month?

Podcast Episode

Episode 7 of Age Gap Love Story is devoted to this topic of basic financial planning. Listen to it here, or watch it on our YouTube channel.

Age Gap Love Story is a website, podcast, YouTube channel, and community created to support people who are in a relationship with a large age difference. Join our email list to learn more!

Filed Under: Finance, Podcast Episode

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About Carrie and Alan

Welcome! We are Carrie & Alan, a married couple with a 32 1/2 year age difference. We’re here to share our experience and help make your age gap relationship successful.

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