Family Issues

The holidays can be a stressful time even in the best of circumstances. And, having an age gap relationship might add more stress to some families. So, we’ve put together these tips to help you survive the holidays.

Holiday Survival Tips

Tip One

Make a plan in advance. Ideally, you would set your plan 6-7 weeks before a major holiday. Then, communicate your plan to family members who might pressure you.

Learn more about managing family relationships when you’re in an age gap relationship.

Tip Two

Feel free to create your own traditions. Alan and I have done this since the beginning of our relationship. We started going to a restaurant at Thanksgiving and going to a comedy club at New Year’s. Now, especially during the pandemic, we are likely going to make a nice dinner at home and watch a movie. 

Tip Three

Be okay with saying no to what other people ask of you. This is a great time to practice your assertive skills. Know your plan, do what is best for you, and don’t be afraid to say no to requests from others.

In today’s environment, we’ve gotten better at virtual meetings. So, if you don’t want to or can’t meet in person, maybe try a Facetime or Zoom holiday gathering instead. 

Tip Four

Avoid conflict. The holidays can be stressful and people can be more on-edge than usual. On the other hand, give people grace, be willing to compromise, and give everyone a little more forgiveness than usual. 

Also, for our listeners who are in the early stages of their age gap relationship, we don’t necessarily think the holidays are the time to introduce or force your relationship onto your family members. 

Tip Five

Check in with each other and have an escape plan. If you do decide to spend time with family, be sure to check in on your partner. If things go awry, have a plan for how you can leave quickly. 

Don’t let your partner become the outsider. It can be hard for a partner to integrate with the other partner’s family and friends. Check in and help him or her feel comfortable. 

Tip Six

Take care of yourself!!! The holidays are a notorious time for people to get overwhelmed. Keep your routine, be sure to do the things that make you feel good. Take extra care to get good rest, exercise, and eat well. 

Listen to the podcast episode for this topic below, or check out the YouTube episode.

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Age Gap Love Story is a website, podcast, YouTube channel, and community created to support people who are in a relationship with a large age difference. Join our email list to learn more!

This article shares tips and strategies for sharing your age gap relationship with friends and family. This can be an experience that can range from extremely awkward and uncomfortable to even worse, depending on the situation. 

There is likely no one right time to tell your friends and family that you’ve met the person of your dreams, but he or she is decades older or younger than you. We know that this can be a really difficult conversation to have.

General Tips

Make a list of why it’s important for you to tell others

Is it that you are getting serious with your partner and you want to share your joy? Is it so that you can introduce your partner to your friends and family. It’s nice to have a list of reasons to help boost your confidence.

Take it one person at a time

Each situation and relationship will be different, so make a plan for telling one person at a time in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you. You can always ask that person to keep your conversation confidential until you have had time to tell more people.

Pick a time when you are both calm and the situation is appropriate

Try to take stock of your feelings and how the other person is acting to make sure the time is right. You don’t want to pick a time when the other person is already stressed out, as that may make it harder for them to react rationally. 

Don’t pressure yourself, especially if you aren’t ready

You may need to consider a lot of factors before you tell your friends and family, including your financial situation. Don’t potentially alienate yourself from people who you depend on.

Tell other people in a way that is comfortable for you

You can do it in person, over the phone, in a letter, or whatever works for you to communicate the message that you have met someone you care about, but that there is an age difference.

Think carefully about what you are going to say

Expect to have some shock, anger, disbelief, or other negative emotions at first. This is a natural reaction when someone isn’t expecting something, they are ignorant about the situation, they need more information, or they aren’t prepared to deal with it. It doesn’t mean that he or she will never accept your relationship, but he or she may need some time.

Take a “time out” if necessary

If emotions start to escalate, it’s okay to take some time away so you or your family member can calm down. It’s best to step away from the conversation before it gets too heated or before you feel yourself losing control.

Step away from the conversation, review what you really want to say, and then re-approach that person after you are feeling more calm.

Always protect your personal safety

If you ever feel unsafe by the reaction of others when you tell them about your relationship, then do whatever you need to do to protect yourself. Physical violence is never the answer. Please contact the authorities if you ever feel like you are in danger.

Ask for support if needed

Ask your partner for support, consider a professional therapist for help, reach out to the age gap community, or a close friend, for ideas and support, etc.

Podcast Episode

Listen to the podcast episode related to this topic. We hope that the tips are helpful. You can also watch the podcast on our Age Gap Love Story YouTube channel.

Conclusion

We hope that this article and podcast episode was helpful on the topic of telling your friends and family about your age gap relationship. We know it can be difficult.

As always, we want to remind you that we are not offering professional advice. The content on this website is meant as purely informational. Please consult a therapist, attorney, financial advisor, or other appropriate professional to help with your individual situation.

Age Gap Love Story is a website, podcast, YouTube channel, and community created to support people who are in a relationship with a large age difference. Join our email list to learn more!