Age Gap Information Archives - Page 2 of 2

Age gap dating can have similar challenges as other relationships, but there are some special considerations to be made when you have a large age difference. This post discusses tips, cautions, and advice for age gap dating.

General Tips

Ensure that the other person is looking for the same thing in a relationship. If you like the person, this is something you can bring up early on. Although, you do have to understand that people change over time. Watch out for rebound relationships as this can affect how someone views another relationship (i.e. her or she might jump into something too fast).
Get to know the other person’s character and personality. According to Psychology Today, the most important characteristics for a long-term relationship are kindness, reliability, and emotional stability. Your interactions will help you see that in the person.
Compatibility is also important, especially with things like hobbies, vacation preferences, and views on religion and politics.
Be aware of traits that you don’t like: anger, addiction, gambling, other mental health issues, so you know what you’re getting into. During the dating stages, this is when people are showing their best side. So, if you see things you don’t like, this should be a red flag.

Age Gap Considerations

Health issues

It’s important to know if there are issues that can get worse with time. Also, does the person take good care of themselves? Smoking, drinking, food choices, exercise, sleep, work/life balance, regular medical exams, and stress management are all lifestyle factors that can have effects later.

Previous marriages

Previous marriages can also be complicating and something to consider. There is spousal support, child support, emotional issues, so it’s good to talk about it during the dating process.

Previous bad relationships (not just previous marriages) can cause issues that may need to be addressed. Can lead to bad habits with communication and dealing with conflict.

Children from previous relationships

Child support and college can be a financial drain. Also, they take a lot of emotional support, even if they don’t have issues.

Financial considerations

For the older partner, consider financial commitments, such as alimony, child support, mortgage, assets, debt, credit cards, business arrangements, liens, earning potential.

For the younger partner, student loans, credit cards. Is the person going to be a reliable financial partner? For either partner, are they financially stable?

For a lot of this, you have to use good judgment. Be open-minded, but watch out for red flags. If you’re getting serious, it’s important to be honest and open.

Also, be cautious about co-mingling assets. Who is going to provide income? You may need to do a prenuptual agreement if you want to get married. You also need to consider estate planning regarding previous children if it gets serious.

Future Planning

Dreams for home ownership, travel, children, pets, and how you want to spend your time are all issues to discuss.

Life Stage Differences

This can be an issue for age gap relationships, especially if one person is working and the other is retired.

This topic of Age Gap Dating is one that we covered in episode 4 of the Age Gap Love Story Podcast. Listen here!

Age Gap Love Story is a website, podcast, YouTube channel, and community created to support people who are in a relationship with a large age difference. Join our email list to learn more!

May December Romance is the term used to describe relationships where one partner is significantly older than the other. This type of romance is also called an age gap relationship.

Origins of the Term

The term “May December” romance refers to a relationship where a younger woman is involved with an older man. The “May” part of the term refers to the younger woman being in the height of her vibrance, or springtime. “December” refers to the man being closer to the end of his vitality, or wintertime.

It is thought that the term came from a story in The Canterbury Tales, a book by Geoffrey Chaucer, written in the Middle Ages. Over the years, the term May December romance has become part of the vernacular.

Age gap is also a term that describes a romantic couple that has a significant difference in years.

How Many Years is Significant?

While some people consider a 10-15 year difference to be significant, it really depends on the age of the couple. For instance, for a 18-year old who is dating a 23-year old, even that 5-year difference can be notable. On the other hand, if one partner is 75 years old and the other is 80 years old, then there are likely no real differences in the 5-year difference.

In general, adult May December couples can have a difference from 10 years to over 50 years or more.

older man putting an engagement ring on a younger woman

Potential Drawbacks

There can be drawbacks to May December Romances, including negative criticism from friends and family, negative stereotyping from the public, and other issues arising from breaking societal norms.

Different countries and cultures can have varying levels of acceptance toward May December relationships. In Western countries, the average difference in age between married partners is generally around 3 years. In African countries, though, the average age difference between married people is often much larger.

Another issue that can come up in May December Romances is the difference in life stages. One example of this is if the younger partner is just starting his or her career. In this case, He or she may be very focused on working, while the older partner may be nearing retirement. Conflict can occur as each individual has different priorities.

In most cases, working with a professional therapist can help May December couples work out their differences.

Potential Benefits

May December romances and relationships can also have benefits to both partners. The younger partner may seek the stability and life wisdom from the older partner, and the older partner may enjoy the extra vitality and unique perspective from a younger partner.

With enough support, commitment, and understanding, a May December Romance can be equally if not more fulfilling than a traditional relationship.

lesbian couple with an age and racial difference

Conclusions

The bottom line is that if two people have a strong connection and love each other, then it is possible to overcome the age difference between them. Many couples who have a large difference in years go on to have a long, happy, and fulfilling relationship.